What to Do When He’s Not Investing in You

If there’s one thing most women hate the most, it’s a gray zone in a relationship. This is the area where your potential partner shows some affection but is still indecisive when it comes to commitment. In other words, it’s when a guy doesn’t make an effort but kinda does at the same time. It can be frustrating; it can be discouraging but you shouldn’t beat yourself up worrying about it. Here are some helpful tips you could use to make things work. Let’s get started!

Take a Different Perspective 

The very first thing you have to do when you notice that weird state is to not take it personally. Instead, think about the whole situation and analyze what you can change. If there’s nothing you can do, it is his problem, not yours. Once you start viewing the whole situation from a different perspective, the path to hurt feelings will fade away and you will feel more secure.

I understand how tiring it can be and how hard it is to avoid this kind of situation. After all, you’ve invested so much time and effort to make things work and now you have to throw it all away. Your brain wants to see and hear things that will synchronize with your hopes but instead, you are greeted to something that doesn’t align and naturally, your brain rejects it.

Just try to keep it cool and don’t let dumb thoughts hurt you. You are the priority, always will be, just don’t forget about it.

Give Him Space

Another good thing you can do is put more space between you and the person you like. While I understand that it can be difficult, it might actually be something that both of you needed for a long time. And before you start complaining that he might find someone else while you are away, just chill. Panicking won’t solve your issue nor it will make you happy. A successful relationship is only possible if both of you want it.

During this time apart, he might realize (just like you) that he actually missed you. That’s actually a well-known law of attraction. Giving him that much-needed freedom can do wonders. Besides, he might assume that you don’t need him and start playing his ace game to win your heart back, which leads us to the next tip.

Focus on Yourself

When I said that you need to distance yourself, it was partially to let your loved one know what they are missing and encourage you to focus on yourself. As I’ve mentioned already, you are the priority and there is literally nothing in this world that can take over.

Okay, now that you gave him some space, do things that you’ve always wanted to do. Don’t hesitate to start that YouTube channel you’ve been meaning to, or conquer a new mountain, or simply spice up your look with a trendy lob haircut. All you have to remember is that it’s high time to put yourself first.

Once you start realizing your dreams, he will not only notice that but become more attracted to you and scared at the same time. What I mean is that your loved one will start noticing how amazing you actually are, as well as he will start worrying that he just might lose you.

Don’t Wait Forever

While you can wait and hope that things will improve, it’s best that you don’t waste your precious time and set a deadline. You need to let him know (or don’t, depending on how you feel) that you won’t be “there for him” forever. As soon as the bell rings, your gone and for good. This will create some tension at first but if he really digs you, he will start acting.

And in case he doesn’t, well, you don’t need to wait an eternity to start doing what you need. After all, when you are young, you have a plethora of energy and desire to turn the world upside down. Why waste it on someone who doesn’t even like you.

Attract Other Men

When he’s not into you anymore, it’s time you start feeling the same. And what is a better way to do it than by attracting other men? Indeed, once you realize that you attract other men, this will improve your self-esteem and greatly affect your mood. Don’t encapsulate yourself in a cage of thinking only about him. In fact, go an make an account on a dating site.

There are plenty of men in this world and if he decides to stay distracted, then let it be. You’ll find a better person soon enough. Besides, your positive energy will attract other people around you.

Everything Is Ok

I know how hard it can be when someone you love starts to pull away. It can be devastating, but it is temporary. One failed relationship doesn’t make you unworthy of love. You can still change gears and turn everything in your favor.


These tips require you to go against your instincts but they are perhaps the most powerful techniques you can use. In any case, win or lose, you will feel much better if you follow these recommendations.


Author Bio:

Jason Jacoby is a professional psychologist with a master’s degree in experimental psychology who loves nothing more than sharing what he knows with others. He writes a lot of articles and you can find some of them on DoULikeBlog. Jason also works as a family therapist and his unusual sessions helped many couples to save their marriages.