Starting to live your life for you instead of for others can be one of the most freeing feelings in this world. When we begin to be a little bit more selfish without time effort and energy we become less dissatisfied with our lives. When you start to feel as if everything is crashing down on you or you feel constantly overwhelmed about other people and their opinions you realize that you haven’t been living your life for yourself.

Once you recognize how your actions and lifestyle has created an unhappy life for yourself, you must start changing your behavior and life. Living for yourself and being selfish doesn’t mean become a careless narcissistic person. It means to think about yourself more in situations. Think about how you’re feeling in certain moments, how certain situations and people affect you, and what moves you. Finding what gets you going is the start of everything great. Learning to love yourself as deeply as you love others is where you begin to see your worth.

When you’re constantly living for your family and friends, it can become easy to lose yourself. Whether you were wrapped up in someone else’s lives or their actions, you become a part of them instead of a whole you. There are steps you can take that will help you along the process of living your life for yourself.

1.  Shift your focus

Whatever you may be focused on currently that is bringing you down try to think of something the makes you happy. Focusing on positive things in your life and your mood will drastically change. Incorporate positive affirmations in your day to help you get through it with a smile. Even when you don’t feel like smiling, trying to crack a little one for no reason at all can improve your attitude and mood in general.

Some good positive affirmations to use and say to yourself often are:

• I can and I will.
• I have love. I have purpose. I was made with divine intent.
• I will succeed.
• I am a good person.
• I am in charge of how I feel.
• I am enough.

If you’re focused on relationships or work life and need a break, you may feel better when you shift your focus to something that makes you feel good. Reminisce about a past event in your life or think about the good the future has in hold for you. There are many ways to get bad thoughts and unproductive focus out of your mind if you stick with it.

Focus more on your career rather than the negative aspects of your social life. Most of the time feeling satisfied with your job/career leads to happiness in many people. Focus on how you can better your life rather than the things that are making it worse.

2.  Cut out negativity

This part may be the most difficult part of changing your life for the better. You ensure you are living a happy life starts with cutting out any negativity in your life. The negativity within yourself and surrounding you will bring you down sooner or later. Your negative thoughts will harm your relationships with others and your self-esteem. Remember to stay positive to ensure that you reap positive things in life.

To live your life for you, you must analyze the kinds of people around you. Are they bringing you down or uplifting you? Are they adding to you or constantly taking from you? You must ask yourself great reflection questions to rule out who needs to be in your life and who doesn’t. Many people try to change their lives for the better and forget about this important part.

The energy we surround ourselves with has more of an effect on our overall lives and self-appreciation than we think. If you feel like you need to remove some people, you must do so as soon as you can. Whether it be an acquaintance or someone you’ve fallen in love with, you must take initiative in setting your life right for your own well-being. If your loved one is hurting you more than harm you, you may decide to separate or if it requires, learn about getting a divorce, from someone who causes you more strife than happiness. Sometimes personal freedom means letting some things go.

3.  Show more self-love

Self-love is a major component of living your life for yourself. Showing yourself how much you love you can be more beneficial than someone else doing it. We often find solace in the love we receive from others and often neglect to love ourselves. Not only does this create an unhealthy attachment to others thought and opinions, but it makes us lose sight of how we should treat ourselves.

You must cater to yourself to make sure you know what you like and how you want to live. Treat yourself to an expensive dinner and don’t want on someone else to invite you out. Invite yourself out. Do things by yourself often and you’ll begin to enjoy spending time alone. Take long baths and listen to your favorite tunes to block out negativity and get in tune with yourself.

During this process, you will learn yourself in and out and you will realize what it is like to truly be loved by someone you love. We learn ourselves time and time again throughout our lives as we change and grow. It’s important to pay attention to oneself.

4.  Live your dreams

You must understand what your dream is first before you can live in it. But once you’ve figured that part out, you must start doing the things that make you happy. If your dream is to be a musician then you must begin to write or pick up an instrument to play. Living your dreams will not only create a happier life but it will make those dreams come true faster than you think.

Have the mindset that your dreams are already happening and that you’re just going through the motions of them. Your life will change drastically and so will the way you think about your life and life as a whole.

5.  Always be thankful

One thing to always have is gratitude. You must always be thankful for what you have and where you are at the moment. Being thankful starts with thinking about the good things in life. Sometimes think of bad things can help you have a healthy life if you turn them into lessons. All of the mistakes we have made had a lesson attached to it and whether you noticed it or not is dependant on your mind. You should always be looking at ways to turn your mistakes into lessons so you can recover faster. You will begin to appreciate all of the things you’ve done wrong and have fewer regrets.

Having humility is important in appreciating the small things in life and not creating a boastful and overly selfish life. Understand that every day you are given a new chance and take advantage of that.