Grieving can be a distressing time. Here are some common questions asked about grieving.
Greif. It’s a difficult thing for anyone to manage. The loss of a loved one can sometimes be impossible to put into words. But losing someone hurts, and that is where grief takes hold. But the thing is, grief doesn’t make sense to us. It can take many different shapes and forms – anger, depression, but ultimately, it’s a troubling and distressing time for those going through it. Loss is no easy burden to bear, and grief comes hand in hand with loss. For those grieving, you may have questions about you want answering.
We’ve spoken to S. Stibbards & Sons, funeral directors in Eastwood who also offer grief and bereavement support. You may have questions about your grief that you need answers to, which is why we’ve pulled together some common questions and will do our best to provide you with even a little bit of clarity.
‘When will my grief end?’
The answer is there is no answer. Grieving is a process, different to every individual. We all deal with it in our own way and there is no right or wrong amount of time that grief lasts. Everyone around you understands that it may take time and will be there to support you through the worst of it. Grief may never disappear, we may only learn to live with it. But it will get easier over time. Take it at your own pace.
‘How do I get back to my life before the loss?’
It’s difficult to say, because the loss of a loved one is a difficult time and it will change your life. Things will be different, to say the least, and your life may never be the same as it once was. All you can do is to grieve at your own pace and accept that your life will be different in the future. It doesn’t mean you can’t get back to how things used to be, but it’s knowing that your life has changed and will be a lot different with the loss of a loved one. All that we can suggest is you take each day at a time whilst you’re grieving and try not to think about what is to come.
‘Do I need counselling/therapy?’
Some choose to go to therapy or counselling after they have lost a loved one. The process of talking through your grief and loss can help a lot. If you feel you would benefit from counselling or therapy, then maybe it’s right for you. However, you may not need it. Talking to someone you know about what you’re going through can be therapeutic in itself. They don’t have to be a medical professional to understand and advise you. Sometimes talking to someone who knows what you’re going through can help, be it an experienced professional or a friend, family member or partner.
‘I feel like no one understands what I’m going through, why is this?’
Grief can sometimes cloud our perception of the world around us, and it may feel like that no one can understand what we’re going through. The thing to try and remember is that people do care about your grief, and they (if they haven’t gone through it) will do their best to understand. But grief is so personal to each person. It’s an individual experience, and as we’ve said, effects everyone in different ways. Which is why it can sometimes be hard for us and we may think that no one truly understands, but they do, or at least they will try to.
‘Why do I feel like I have to be strong?’
Losing someone isn’t, and never will be, an easy experience. But for some of us, supporting those around us comes naturally. You may feel like you have to be a beacon of hope in a dim and dark time, and that can be good for people – but by no means should you feel you need to be strong. You’re only human, and if you need to be upset or need to turn to someone for support, find someone you can look to. Be it a therapist or friend, you don’t need to be strong all the time, you can have your vulnerable moments too.
‘Do children grieve?’
Children experience grief in different ways, and the general consensus is if they can experience love they can experience grief. It may manifest itself differently depending on their age or their relationship to the deceased (how close they were). Like we’ve said, grieving is an individual experience. All you can do is talk to your child/children and help them understand what has happened and let them know you’re there to support them. Child psychologists or counsellors can be beneficial, if you notice your children/child is especially struggling.
We sincerely hope that seeing the answers to common questions has helped you, even if slightly.