Careers and marriage: which ones are the best and worst?

Getting married is the happiest day of your life, and everything is meant to be all lovey-dovey from that moment forward, but in reality it’s a good 40, 50, or 60 years of hard work, depending on how ‘lucky’ you are (discounting divorces of course). A constant battle for members of both sexes, the complaining and sacrifices are what make marriage special. From working late to not working hard at all, partners can whinge and whine when the attention isn’t on them and job always seem to take the brunt of it.

The following careers are a mixture of good and bad (and ugly) and should give some guidance to those who are either thinking about getting married or changing their careers. Just bear in mind that everything here is taken with a massive pinch of pessimistic salt, so don’t take it too seriously (or do, it’s up to you)

Professional footballer – BAD

If you’re thinking about becoming a professional sportsman, stop, go back to the drawing board and think about a job in retail or something. The reality is, you probably won’t make it. And if you do, the pressure is on from day one. From being hounded by the media, to having to spend your spare time either training or making appearances at community centres, the time you should be spending on your marriage is instantly eaten up by having to kick paparazzi out of the way as you try to drive to the training ground in your Bentley.

Then there’s the female attention. Peter Crouch somehow managed to snare an incredible wife in Abbey Clancy, but let’s face it, if he was a car salesman, there would be 0% chance of that happening. Additional female attention is something that footballers have to regularly deal with, and some of them are absolutely useless at handling it. Terry, Giggs, Rooney, Beckham, Balotelli, Ashley Cole, Sniejder (deep breath), Rosicky, Evra, Giroud, Kahn, Henry, Pirlo, Tevez, Ronaldo, Ribery, and Ronaldinho, along with literally 1,000s of others were all disloyal during their marriages or long term relationships, but the ladies can’t be blamed here. If you reckon you can bat off several extremely good-looking women in a nightclub and head home to the missus, then you’re safe. Otherwise, don’t become a footballer.

If you’re a female footballer, the sad and honest truth is that you won’t have nearly the same amount of attention, unless maybe you’re at national team level. But, you’ll still have the travelling, training and Saturday games to contend with, so you’ll have all the bad stuff without the benefit of huge wages. Sorry. We don’t make the rules.

Librarian – OK

Sitting in silence all day is a great incentive for rushing home to your other half. Unsocial working drives loneliness, so getting home at night and having to have a conversation with your spouse becomes less a chore and actually something to look forward to. Add this to the fact that everyone needs plenty of time to relax, and it looks like a good choice.

Quiet, relaxed jobs aren’t always an indicator of happiness however, and the stress of having absolutely nothing worthwhile to do can actually be detrimental to relationships, so you might actually end up on the rocks with such a reserved carer.

Customer Service Representative – PRETTY BAD

Let’s face it, if you work in a call centre within customer services, you’re going to be dealing with complaints all day. The first few are usually ok, but when you’re listening to why Mrs Johnson’s chicken contained bones for the 8thtime, you won’t be going home in a good mood. And when the other half decides to let you know that you didn’t load the dishwasher properly then you’re probably going to explode and unload.

According to the experts, marriages are all about communication and talking, and if you have to do this for 8 hours straight a day, it’ll be the last thing you want to do when you get home. There’s also the fact that many call centres have unsociable hours and include weekend working, so that telephony job may just be the nail in the coffin before your marriage actually makes it off the ground.

Stay at home Mum / Dad / whatever – GREAT

What’s that? Your very own personal slave who does all errands the household chores, and loves doing it? Need we say more?

Pro Poker player – EXTREMELY BAD

Poker can be very lucrative. Or can totally wipe out every penny you have and leave you a blubbering wreck as you borrow money from friends to pay the rent.

For those lucky few who have the brainpower and confidence to go pro, the world of poker can often be a lonely one. A bit like professional musicians, pro players are often on the road a lot, chasing tournaments and making appearances at big events. At the top of the game, this may even be on an international basis. Even if the missus or mister comes along, you’ll be at the table for the vast majority of the day, then dealing with interviews, press, or even heading off for more poker at after-events. Some of the stars have even blamed poker for the failure of previous relationships.

A final word

Marriages are all about balance and can absolutely be affected by spending either too much time or not enough time at work. There are also factors like salary and security that can be deal breakers, and some people even cite their prospective partner’s career as an important factor before they have even started dating. So, if you’re about to tie the knot, or take that new position, have a long hard think about your current or potential career before you wreck it for everyone…