This is a guest article from John Kim: TheAngryTherapist.com
What if I told you that your life is bigger than you? That you are meant to do/change something. Just humor me. Close your eyes and believe for this second that you were meant to change the world in some way. What happens?
If you truly believe this, you will feel valuable. Suddenly, your “problems” aren’t so big. Why? You have just turned your dial from taking to giving mode.
Turn it back. Instantly your chest concaves as all the worries come flooding back, the unpaid bills, the relationship problems, everything that’s going wrong, everything you wish you had. Now you’re in taking mode, aka obsessing about the future and/or dwelling on the past. You feel the difference?
The difference is PURPOSE.
If you believe you have a purpose, your life becomes greater than you. This process allows you to live outside of self. Living inside of self is what causes us to be unhappy because we internalize, scrutinize, worry, predict, prejudge, label, live in the land of what ifs instead of what is.
So you have a choice.
Believe that you have no purpose and be miserable as I was most of my life.
Believe that you do have a purpose and live.
So how does one discover their purpose?
First, accept yourself fully. This includes where you are in your life, your defects, your story. Everything that is you, your problems, your relationships, your insecurities. This process forces you to be honest with yourself. Honesty with self begins a process of rediscovery. You realize what is the false version of you – Pseudo and what is the true version of you – Solid. As you become more solid, you begin to unlock your code.
Seeking approval, validation, and false beliefs about yourself has strapped an iron chain around your soul. By living in Solid Self you will begin to unlock that chain. Through this process you will slowly realize what you are good at, what you love, what your gifts are. The more you do this, the more you will believe you have value, that you deserve things, like healthy love. Once you believe you have value and what that value is, you will have purpose.
But it all starts with–
Most people cannot be transparent because it requires a tremendous amount of courage, which is why most people don’t discover their purpose, which is why most people are unhappy.
How many people do you know live in Solid Self—without a veneer, not seeking any approval or validation, and live purely in their truth? Jesus? Gandhi? Okay, we can’t compare ourselves to them, especially in the world we live in.
So then how many people do you know are trying to do this, today and every day?
That is why we are so unhappy.
John Kim, aka The Angry Therapist, is a LMFT whose practice redefines “therapy” in the traditional sense. He uses the internet as a therapeutic tool with an online community as the main space for growth and healing. John and his team provide support to make mental health a daily practice, integrated in everyday life. Join the movement, Live Different: www.theangrytherapist.com. Connect with him on Twitter@angrytherapist